


Shave your armpits, Satan!

by Metakit



Category: Puyo Puyo
Genre: Bye Bye Ocean, Gen, Puyo consumption, lol, trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 22:15:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11815263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Metakit/pseuds/Metakit
Summary: It only takes one bone to ruin your entire life.





	Shave your armpits, Satan!

In the middle of the night, an exhausted but still somehow bursting with energy Klug entered the kitchen. He opened the fridge, bringing out a jar of wiggling puyos, encased safely within their glass prison, fearful expression on their soft jello faces. The boy put down the jar on the table, grabbing a spoon from a nearby drawer.

Midnight snack!

He opened it with a satisfying pop, reaching greedily with his spoon, putting as many of the little puyos in his mouth. Yum yum! Unfortunately for Klug, but fortunately for the jello friends, Amitie stepped into the room as he was about to put yet another spoonful in. "NO!" she screamed, carrying two very sharp, medium knives in one hand. As her voice echoed, the hat that she wore jumped off her head, gaining sentience. It's first action in its newly gained life was to make a run for it, bouncing off the floor and decking Klug in his soft, nerdy face.

  
The sheer force of the impact prompted him to break into an unbelievable amount of glass, scattering on the cold wooden floor, the sound of it echoing against the blank walls. A noise powerful enough to summon Satan out of thin air. The man appeared, groceries hanging gently from his horns. He did not seemed too pleased about this sudden summoning, nor was he too keen on standing on Klug pieces, afraid of damaging his beautiful dad sandals.

"My, My! What kind of bullshittery is this?"

In response, the small klug pieces whispered: "Forgive me, for I am back on my bullshit."

Satan, still widely unamused, let out a deep sigh as he tried to scoop up the glass shards into the trash can. Amitie watched the scene in shock and awe, as her puyo-shaped hat took the knives straight from her hand, jumping into Satan's unprotected backside and stabbing him with great force, to make sure that the Klug remains would remain safe.

Amitie shouted, from the sidelines: "He's an asshole, but he's my friend!!!"

A loud screech of pain came out of Satan as he evaporated the same way he had first arrived: thin air. The grocery bags fell to the ground dramatically, spilling their contents all over the Klugs. One of them contained nothing but picture frames of Arle, while the other contained ramen, toilet paper and a pot of cream. As everything hit the ground, the cream broke open, covering the pieces in creamy delight.

"Uwaah!" they cried out, as the cream drowned out their screams.

"Oh no! Not the cream again!" Amitie whimpered, worried for her friend.

The screams died out soon enough, the pieces inching closer to one another, piling atop each other to try and reform... But there was one slight difference: It was strange.

Strange Klug.

"It's me, the fucker you've all been waiting for. Hi."

"Oh no! It's him!" Amitie pointed at the new arrival, her entire hand shaking furiously.

The hat, still off her head, had expanded in size, turning into a giant puyo mechsuit of some kind. Amitie confidently jumped in, shouting a battle cry:

"I will rain SCOOBY DOOM on that pitiful ass of yours!"

An epic battle ensued, one that would've been much longer if not for one, tiny detail. Strange Klug might've not been Klug in spirit, but it was still Klug in body. A small tap reduced him back to shards, once more.

"DAMN IT! Curse this useless, :B:ONELESS Klug!"  
"I'll get your ass! When I get back into my OWN ass!"

No one cared to listen to the soul's complaint. Amitie carefully picked up the shards, a gentle sigh escaping her lips, as she threw them in the trash. The hat was now back to its original spot, resting on its owner's head.

A few days passed before the contents of the trashbin finally arrived at the dumpsite. Finally! Klug's pieces returned to their rightful place. Every little glass shard contained a bit of magic, absorbing the trash, becoming one with it. He grew more and more powerful with every garbage absorbed, attaining more power than he could ever wish for! A laughter of contentment resonated in the near-empty dump site, as he looked at his new form. No one could ever recognize him in this state, but Klug did not care.

All he cared about now, was using his newfound power to turn all the ocean into...

Puyos.

Klug's hunger was near insatiable, as he turned every body of water in the world into the gelatinous substance known as Puyo. The mouth of his strange new body was a long, steel straw which protuded from the mess of garbage and glass that he now was. With it being like a proboscis, he sucked in the Puyo oceans, and was now refered to as the 'Eater of Oceans'. Klug was unstoppable, no one was capable of defeating him now, as he continued to tear through every single body of water in the world. As time went by, someone had finally found a solution, before it was too late. A skeleton by the name of Skeleton T, arrived on the site of chaos, a bow in hand. He took one of his own bones, shooting like an arrow into what he assumed was the beast's neck.

"OCHAA! Bitch!"

The bone m-arrow hit a critical spot of Klug's, which immediately prompted him to shatter out of existence. The evil was now defeated, and everyone could live in peace and have a good life now, right?

In another, unspecified location...

Satan lovingly gazed into Arle's eyes, as the two knives lodged in his back caused him great amounts of pain, as blood gushed out of the wounds.

"Oh, Arle... Now that I have two knives in my back, you will certainly love me, right?"

Arle looked disgusted and done with him, as per usual. She did not want to deal with this bullshit today. It was the fourth time this week, too! The girl took the two knives out of his back...

"Ow! Owch! Thank you ?"

...only to stab him in the front, erasing yet another evil from the world.

At least, Satan won't have to worry about shaving his armpits anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a joke, with a few sentences describing what majorly happened during this fiction.   
> I told my friend that I would polish it and make it into a full-fledged fiction, and that I did.  
> Now it exists, and we all have to live with the consequence.


End file.
